Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
