she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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