Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize