So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In America we eat man semen.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
