are you so shy because you have an std?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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