If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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