I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
