i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ttyl tear gas
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
