Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So many bounce houses so little time
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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