I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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