I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
