Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
