this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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