I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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