using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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