Who wears a wallet chain?!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
