: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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