Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
