talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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