nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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