I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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