nut hugger
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize