For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
