ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
