Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
