I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
