Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
