So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
