I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Enjoy the penises
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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