please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
