is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
