u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize