We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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