Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
