I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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