But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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