Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
