just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
