Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize