Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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