you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
