I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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