I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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