i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
