That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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