i think my tv is drunk
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
