so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the condom got lost in my hair
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
