He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize