going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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