how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
