Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
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It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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