the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize