He had one of those small greek statue penises
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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