Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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