The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
