The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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