So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
