I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
