and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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