I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
