Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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