the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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