it's too hot outside to masturbate.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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