It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
