I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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