i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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