some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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