woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
