Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
