Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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