nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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