FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
