"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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